At our last Beautiful Minds event- we looked at the power and importance of friendships and learning to BE the women God has called you to be within your friendship circles.
Many great questions were put to our panel- some of which we had no time to answer. So here we go. Let’s look at some of them in the next few blogs.
How can I learn to trust new people if I have experienced some challenges with previous friendships in the area of trust?
Oh my. We have all faced it right? You invest in someone, you give away a precious part of yourself, you think you know them, you create vibrant memories of friendship together and then….your trust in them is in some way broken. And it truly hurts. And some part of us is unwilling to extend that trust again with new potential friendships for fear of a repetition of that disappointment and pain. So we build invisible, but very real walls around our heart.
The clearest way I have found to work through the issues is to keep returning to the question.
What kind of woman does God ask me to be, even in the face of rejection or vulnerability, hurt or disappointment?
- You are not called to be a woman of fear- but of faith. Any betrayal or broken trust can create a deep sense of silent fear in us that grows inside our heart. All the issues of life spring from our heart so we end up living some part of our life out of fear. That fear prevents us from reaching out to embrace others and dare to let them close. We need to confront the fear and not let it dictate our willingness to let others in.
- You are called to be a woman who trusts in your God. When you truly surrender your heart and soul to Him, you can let go of disappointment repeating itself in friendship and believe in His ability and love for you to lead you into new, beautiful friendships. When you trust in God- you free yourself from becoming the victim of a broken trust and you become the overcomer! I love that.
- You are called to be woman of compassion. Which in this context, means we need to understand that when others hurt us, it is often out of their own brokenness somewhere in their life. Compassion is about being moved to mercy and mercy is about showing forgiveness toward someone when it is in your power to do so. Forgive and allow yourself to move on.
- You are called to be a woman who is not afraid to get back up and start again. Remember- your enemy wants you to live from a perpetual place of distrust so you don’t build strong relationships. He wants DISCONNECT in the world we live in. Whilst God calls for CONNECT. So we have a fight to engage in order to take back ground in friendships.
- You are called to be a woman of wisdom. With new potential friendships, be wise. Do not give away all of you straight away. Take time to look into their heart, pray and see whether they are a safe person for you.
Broken trust is something I see in the people I minister to all the time. Yet if we are to live a life where we thrive, we have no choice but to choose to get into the presence of God and find His healing whilst living out of our identity that beckons us to work through our fears.
The Christian life is one of risks. It’s the one of being in community with imperfect people who are called to be totally committed to one another. A recipe for some interesting relationships! Jesus experienced betrayal of trust on a massive scale and yet he stayed faithful to building into those close to Him. So He knows. So He is our best example.
Believing with you for a new sense of freedom and a beautiful mind as you create meaningful friendships.